A few LONG Thoughts

It's been a week since I last posted, so I figured it was time to resurface. Finals are next week and I'm trying to study for them. It's a lot harder than I thought. I feel like I haven't learned anything this semester and I'm not sure what to study. It's like everything I learned in high school about studying has gone out the window. Hopefully I'll do well...and then off to a blissful three week break without homework!! Well not the school kind. I plan to spend my Christmas break editing!! (Hey it's a writers dream!) I've been working on a book for about a month and it's not finished yet, but it's almost there. I know what is going to happen; I just need to write it. Once it's finished I get to edit and make sure it's what I want. Once that's done comes the scary part...sending it to agents. I'm sick of dreaming of being published. I'm finally old enough to be taken seriously and I think that I could make it. So it's time to try.

With a semester of college almost behind me, I've realized I've grown up. Last year high school sucked for me. I felt like I had no friends, I was hurt on the inside by a boy and people I thought were my friends. I really didn't think that life could be worse. Being in college where the stupid girl drama isn't there (but yes there is still a bit of boy confusion...but I'm coming to the conclusion that confusion is just part of what makes them male) has been so freeing. It's like "So what? You're a b, fine. There's enough people on this campus that I don't have to see you if I don't want to." I can be me and thankfully I'm around others who love and accept me. I won't lie though, sometimes, seeing things on fb or old photos opens up the wounds again and I have to find a new band aid and remind myself that I am so much better than the person I was. I have dreams and plans and I’m not going to let anyone take those from me just because some stupid person wants to be mean.

Have girls always been so mean?? Lately on fb I've noticed several posts from young girls in jr high and high school and they sound similar to things I thought last year. Is the problem getting worse or am I just noticing it more because I know the signs?? One thing I do know is that parents need to recognize them as well. I commented on a status a few days ago and someone's response was along the lines of "you're kid just needs to toughen up". Um excuse me, it doesn't matter how many times you quote "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words can never hurt me", words are still a silent sword. Their wounds are the worst to heal and last the longest. Telling your kid to toughen up isn't going to take away the hurt they feel when they are left standing alone!! This whole topic is such a big one for me and I think it's because I know what it's like and I can't stand the thought of someone else going through it too. So once I finish the book I'm working on now, I'm going to write one about being bullied. It will be part my story and a mix of other's stories I have heard. If you know anyone that has been girl bullied and has stories they are willing to share, please have them contact me. I think it's time this epidemic found a cure and maybe I have the right words to administer it. (I've always kinda thought being a motivational speaker would be cool)

So that's it for tonight. I might start posting pieces of the book on here. Anyone interested?? Let me know.

**Rachael Marie
PS: We're working with a new name...I need a pen name that's easy to say and since there is already a Rachael Ray I can't exactly be her too.