The Baby Has Been Born

Not literally, since I'm not pregnant, nor do I plan on getting pregnant anytime in the near future. No the baby I'm refering to is the book I've been working on for about 7 weeks give or take. It's been a struggle to say the least. I ran into several brick walls, had to "study" for and take finals, and sometimes just didn't want to write, but I finished it. I'm not sure if it's even any good, but it's done.

Now onto the fun part EDITING!!! Yeah not really excited for it, but it has to be done. Plus now I can start on my next project, which I'm really excited for.

I don't have a name for it yet, but here is the first blurb from the book. Hope you enjoy it.
Chapter One
There was something about the beach that set Katy Ferris at ease. Whether it was the waves softly splashing, the soft sand against her skin, or the sound of squelching birds over the bay, she couldn’t pin point it. It had been one of her favorite places to go when she couldn’t handle home any longer. There was nothing more beautiful to her than a sunset over the black water.
She stared over the water, her hands shoved in the pockets of her skinny blue jeans. A slight breeze scuttled over the water, ruffling her loose brown curls. The beach was completely deserted, just the way she liked it. She replayed scenes over and over in her head. His smile in the sun, his laugh, the glint in his eyes-it was all imprinted in her mind like a tattoo.
“I thought I’d find you here.” She turned to the voice, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t think so,” Katy sniffled, turning to her best friend, Molly. Without missing a beat Molly took her in a hug and let her cry. “I didn’t think it would be this hard.”
“Oh Katy, it will get better,” Molly soothed as she gently rubbed Katy’s back. “Funerals always suck.”
“Tell me about it,” Katy tried to laugh, pulling away from Molly. It sounded more like a choke and didn’t feel right to her. “I never thought this would happen. We were supposed to be together forever.”

**Rachael Marie

Game Over!!!

Hey Peeps!!!

Like every other college kid out there, it's been finals week. Some have pulled their hair out, screamed, cried, or yelled during their first finals experience. I'm proud to say that all my hair is still attached to my head, I haven't screamed at anyone, no tears were shed (well at least not over the exams) and I didn't even swear over the tests. I survived and am proud to report I have finished my 1st college semester with a "B" average.

It's strange that I'm proud of that though. In Junior High and High School I was obsessed with my grades for the most part. If it wasn't an "A" in everything but math (I'm not a math girl so I was happy to take a "B" or even a "C"). I did extra credit just to do it and became a sort of teachers pet in some classes. That was just who I was. I loved school and couldn't understand why some did poorly (I still don't, but whatev). Being in college has changed my personal perspective slightly. In college most of your grade comes from exams because there aren't "filler" assignments to boost your grade. I've never been a great test taker and even struggle with test anxiety. Everything considered, I am proud of my "B" average!! I'm receiving credit for all my classes have even learned a few study tricks that work for me.

I'm glad to be done with my 1st semester. Is it common for freshman to have a bout of "senioritis"?? I know I did. Near the end I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to learn anything more. But I made it and I'm done!! It's time for new classes!!

I have a 3 week break to fill, and filled it's going to be. I was able to get my job back at Syracuse Family Fun Center and I'm going to be working like crazy, which is good because textbooks are expensive!! I'm going to be there a lot, so if you're looking for some fun, come visit me there!! I'm so grateful that I left on good terms over the summer and am able to come back and work the break. I'm going to stay on and help out on some weekends until school is done for the summer. Best part of all, I'm back to doing birthday parties!! I loved doing birthday parties when I worked there. Seeing a little kid's face light up with excitement is one of the best feelings in the world.

It's going to be a busy break with work and maybe a trip or two to Logan...let the fun begin!!! But for tonight it’s good night!!!

**Rachael Marie

Finals Week

It's finals week here in Logan...and everyone seems to be stressing except me. I don't know what it is, but I'm not worried about finals. I've gone to class all semester and done my homework and reading. I'm going over my notes, but I'm not feeling overwhelmed by the task. Yes I am nervous for my exams, but everyone with test anxiety is. I'm not panicking though. I feel ready.

The main purpose for tonights post is just to share the quote below. I found it online, stumbled upon it actually. I think it's so true and really fits some of the thoughts in my head right now. I'm not sure who spoke it, but it's perfect.

Quote of the Day: "You may not be his first, his last, or his only. He loved before and he may love again. But if he loves you now, what else matters? He's not perfect-you aren't either and the two of you may never be perfect together, but if he can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He may not be thinking of you every second of the day but he will give you a part of him that he knows you can break-his heart. So don't hurt him, don't change him, don't analyze and don't expect more than he can give. Smile when he makes you happy, let him know when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there."

**Rachael Marie

A few LONG Thoughts

It's been a week since I last posted, so I figured it was time to resurface. Finals are next week and I'm trying to study for them. It's a lot harder than I thought. I feel like I haven't learned anything this semester and I'm not sure what to study. It's like everything I learned in high school about studying has gone out the window. Hopefully I'll do well...and then off to a blissful three week break without homework!! Well not the school kind. I plan to spend my Christmas break editing!! (Hey it's a writers dream!) I've been working on a book for about a month and it's not finished yet, but it's almost there. I know what is going to happen; I just need to write it. Once it's finished I get to edit and make sure it's what I want. Once that's done comes the scary part...sending it to agents. I'm sick of dreaming of being published. I'm finally old enough to be taken seriously and I think that I could make it. So it's time to try.

With a semester of college almost behind me, I've realized I've grown up. Last year high school sucked for me. I felt like I had no friends, I was hurt on the inside by a boy and people I thought were my friends. I really didn't think that life could be worse. Being in college where the stupid girl drama isn't there (but yes there is still a bit of boy confusion...but I'm coming to the conclusion that confusion is just part of what makes them male) has been so freeing. It's like "So what? You're a b, fine. There's enough people on this campus that I don't have to see you if I don't want to." I can be me and thankfully I'm around others who love and accept me. I won't lie though, sometimes, seeing things on fb or old photos opens up the wounds again and I have to find a new band aid and remind myself that I am so much better than the person I was. I have dreams and plans and I’m not going to let anyone take those from me just because some stupid person wants to be mean.

Have girls always been so mean?? Lately on fb I've noticed several posts from young girls in jr high and high school and they sound similar to things I thought last year. Is the problem getting worse or am I just noticing it more because I know the signs?? One thing I do know is that parents need to recognize them as well. I commented on a status a few days ago and someone's response was along the lines of "you're kid just needs to toughen up". Um excuse me, it doesn't matter how many times you quote "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words can never hurt me", words are still a silent sword. Their wounds are the worst to heal and last the longest. Telling your kid to toughen up isn't going to take away the hurt they feel when they are left standing alone!! This whole topic is such a big one for me and I think it's because I know what it's like and I can't stand the thought of someone else going through it too. So once I finish the book I'm working on now, I'm going to write one about being bullied. It will be part my story and a mix of other's stories I have heard. If you know anyone that has been girl bullied and has stories they are willing to share, please have them contact me. I think it's time this epidemic found a cure and maybe I have the right words to administer it. (I've always kinda thought being a motivational speaker would be cool)

So that's it for tonight. I might start posting pieces of the book on here. Anyone interested?? Let me know.

**Rachael Marie
PS: We're working with a new name...I need a pen name that's easy to say and since there is already a Rachael Ray I can't exactly be her too.

Day 30: I'm DONE!!

I had an interesting realization today. Everyone deserves second, third and sometimes even fourth chances in this life. I mean, who are we to say that they don’t deserve another shot at being a friend. Granted, there are a few exceptions, but just because someone says something that hurts you doesn’t mean that you should stop being their friend. I know that for me, if my friends hadn’t given me second (and sometimes third) chances, I probably wouldn’t have friends. Everyone makes mistakes, its part of growing up, and we are all CONSTANTLY growing up (even when you’re fifty).

But when do we stop giving second chances?? I mean, where does the line sit that if you cross over you don’t get any more chances?? This is something I struggle with. I believe everyone has the spark to be the greatest thing in the world. I also believe everyone screws up at one time or another. But should you stop being friends just because of it?? I know that I’m overly sensitive sometimes and freak out about stupid stuff, which is why I think second chances are a saving grace. If everyone I ever freaked out at wrote me off, I would be absolutely alone.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that everyone deserves to prove themselves and until they do something so bad that you can’t even stand to look at them, you should accept an apology and maybe even offer a few. You never know if someone is in your life to teach you something. If you kick them out too soon, you won’t learn something valuable that will make you a better person. So yeah, just love everyone and try to make sense of the lesson God is clearly trying to teach you with them.

Maybe I’m being really cryptic with this all. I can’t really explain where all this is coming from, I just know that it is true. I know I need to mend a few bridges with people that I was absolutely horrid to. Maybe I should just send them my blog address and let them read it. Haha.

I made it through the 30 posts!! I’m going to disappear for a little while now (but not too long. I’ll probably be back on in a week). I think the world is a bit sick of hearing from me. I know I’m starting to get sick of myself. So if you made it through the month with me THANK YOU!! If you didn’t I forgive you. I know half these posts didn’t make any sense, but whatever. I knew what they were about and it made me feel better to write them.

**Rachael Rae

Day 29: Dear Snow

I don’t know how I feel about this. I got out of my car in Logan today and the snow came up to my knees. There’s too much of it!! I know, I know, it’s Logan, but really…can’t you send some of it somewhere else?? Thought for the day. How much does UNLV cost?? I think I’m going to transfer there for spring semesters just to escape this madness!!

**Rachael Rae

Day 28

I have nothing to blog about today, but I’m almost done with the 30 posts, so I had to post something. But yeah, I have nothing to say. No funny stories, wild signs, not even a cool youtube video to share. My life is so boring.

Not exactly loving the snow. I have to drive to Logan tomorrow, so if there is anything good or holy in this world, the roads will be clear. Not very excited for this trip, but it’s one of the last for the year. Hallelujah!!

Still writing, forcing myself to finish this book. I’m almost done, but I’ve fallen out of love with it. Maybe things went too fast. I was writing like a mad woman there for a while. Who knows, but it’s almost done. I better find a renewed love for it though. I’m really sick of just dreaming about being a writer. I need to start trying to sell stuff, but you can’t sell if you don’t have material. David, Katy, please remind me why I love you!! (You’re probably confused…I’ll explain sometime. Maybe I’ll post a paragraph…)

That’s it. No more thoughts in my head tonight. Try to enjoy the winter everyone…

**Rachael Rae

Day 27: Some Writing

I’m really not in the mood to write an entire essay about my life, since I think it’s quite boring actually. So instead I’m going to share some of my writing. I’ve always had a difficult time sharing my writing so please be kind!!

Trapped

You push me around

And shove me down

You tell me everything I do is wrong

None of our conversations last long

Can’t you say something I do right?

Or would that start another fight?

I really wanna hurt you

Cuz heaven knows you’ve hurt me too.

Bring on a huge bruise

But the neighbor’s might accuse

Maybe it’d release my hurt

Be kinda like a growth spurt.

I would rather walk away

Then spend another day

Trapped here inside

To you I can’t confide

Can’t say what I feel

For my lips stay sealed

I need to go, leave

Find someone to believe

Someone who sees

And lets me that person be.

This burden weighs a ton, see

And it’s slowly killing me.

Day 26: Almost Done

I’ve almost made it to my goal of 30 posts!! Just four more days, but we’ve run into a slight problem. I don’t know what to write about. Well I take that back, there are quite a few things that have happened in the last few days that I could write about, but I’m working on being an adult and not publicly bashing someone who made me mad. So that being said, I don’t know what to write. What would you like me to write about?? Anything you’ve always wondered about me?? Comment or message me and we’ll see what the last four posts bring!!

Went to H&M today. It was fun, but they didn’t have skirts. Big let down!! Still love that store though. Wish there was one in Utah.

I really don’t think I’m going to be able to finish the book by the end of the week like I had hoped too. I still have at least three chapters to do. I feel like it’s too short. It’s barely even forty pages single spaced typed. It also doesn’t help that I had a new idea today, but I want to finish this one so I can’t start working on the new one yet. I don’t know what I’m going to do.

I think I spend too much time on the internet. I should really work on that. Maybe I would get more writing done if I did. That being said, I’m signing off for the night.

**Rachael Rae

Day 25: I’m Thankful For…

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! I hope your holiday is going well and no one has hit the dreaded turkey coma yet!! I like to think that I am thankful everyday for the things I have in this world, but today especially I should be grateful. In taking a cue from David Letterman here’s the Top 10 Things I’m Thankful For in 2010!! (NOTE: They aren’t numbered because I don’t think any is more important than the others.)

Family: I am thankful for my family who loves and supports me in everything I do. I’m thankful for my mom who gives me money for grocery’s and does my laundry when I come home!!

Friends: I’m thankful that I have good friends at and not at USU!! I’m thankful that they listen to my problems, give me advice, and are there whenever I need them!!

My Education: I’m thankful for the opportunity to pursue my education at USU. I am happy that I get to choose what I study and am able to pursue my dreams.

Talents: I think I’ve stated this one in a previous post, but I’m thankful for the gift of writing that I have. I love that I am able to tell stories and explain new worlds and ideas. It also doesn’t hurt when the school papers come calling.

Music: As you can probably tell, I LOVE music!! Silence kinda freaks me out so I’m always playing music. I love that I can always find a song to fit my mood. I also love that music can express things better than words and can fill in the blanks.

Daisy: Daisy is my car and I love her!! She is a 1983 Honda Accord and while she has a bit of rust, she is still hauling!! I’m grateful that I have her and that she runs so that I can run errands and go home.

My Roommates: Mabel, Esther, Chelsea, Michelle you ladies are the best!! I don’t have sisters, but living with you makes me feel like I do!!

Freedom: I’m thankful for the freedom I enjoy in America. I can choose what I want to be, say, read,and think because of the many men and woman who protect that right for me. I am thankful for them!!

Technology: I’m a freak. I can’t go a day without checking my email, Facebook, or an hour without my cell phone!! But I am thankful to have them in my life so that I can communicate with friends and my family.

Last of all, I’m thankful for the really yummy food I’m about to eat!! You make the chore of eating so much more enjoyable!!

**Rachael Rae

Day 24: Vegas Baby!!

“Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now. That’s what you get for waking up in Vegas.”

So there isn’t any glitter around (unless you count the little bit that’s in my nail polish) and I didn’t wake up here, but I’m in Vegas!!! For saying everyone pictures Vegas as warm, let me assure you, it isn’t THAT warm. Granted it’s about 40 or so degrees which is a lot better than Logan’s 5, but it’s not toasty that’s for sure!! But I’m happy to be here!!

So what am I doing in Vegas?? I’m here with the fam to spend Thanksgiving with my older brother Michael, who lives here. We’re not hitting the strip, which makes my younger brother sad, but we are getting a trip to H&M in, which makes me the happiest girl in the world!! I love H&M!! I made my 1st visit in June and I fell in love with it!! I love how they have super cute clothes that are budget priced. So hopefully it will be a productive visit!!

I really don’t think that I’m going to make my goal to have my book finished by Saturday, but who knows. I really need to discipline myself into writing. No fun until the work is done…but then again, I am in Vegas, so who knows what will happen!!

I guess I’ll just enjoy waking up in Vegas!!

**Rachael Rae

Day 23: Travel Safely

Tomorrow is the day before Thanksgiving and I know a lot of people are heading out on the roads to visit family. Please be smart and safe drivers! The roads might be slippery. Let’s all remember that it isn’t a race to get there (where ever there may be) and to just enjoy the drive and the quality family time in the car (headphones are a must have at times, so make sure those are in the hangbag/bookbag/pocket). Drive safely everyone!!

It’s been a lazy day, but I feel very productive. I went to my old work and I might have my old job back for the winter break and weekends during spring semester!! It’s a good thing too because even when you aren’t out shopping, money goes fast!!

I’m also hoping to finish chapter eight in my novel tonight. I’ve been working on it since last Thursday!! I think this is the longest I have every spent on a single chapter. I struggled for a while trying to figure out how to get it to go where I needed it to. Once I figured that out, I struggled to make it work and make things seem real and convincing. Finally last night, I broke through the walls and made it through the crucial moment. Now on to the stuff I’ve been dreading. Send the tissues my way!

**Rachael Rae

Day 22: I Love A Good Drive

Hello Friends!!!

So I don’t know about where you are, but in Logan it was freezing today!! I think I brushed off about 4 inches of snow from my car this afternoon. It was disgusting, but thankfully I am back in semi-warm Syracuse, celebrating that there is none of the icky white stuff on the ground. Mucho glad about that.

It’s about an hours drive from Logan to Syracuse, and I’m getting to love that time on the road. I’ve always enjoyed driving. It’s quite relaxing for me (unless I’m next to a fish-tailing semi, but everyone is supposed to freak out in those moments). A good chunk of the drive is through fields and the canyon and it is so beautiful! Like today as I was driving through Willard, it was all over cast but the sun was breaking through the clouds, leaving streaks of yellow across the dark sky. Most amazing sight EVER!!

So yeah, I love driving and road trips!! Good thing too because Wednesday I embark on a lovely 6 hour journey!!! Yay for the holidays!!

**Rachael Rae

Day 21: Feeling

I’m sure we’ve all heard the saying “when words fail music speaks”. It never fails to amaze me how true this statement is. Right now, words are failing me, but this song seems to sum up what I feel especially the line:

“If it were up to me, I’d say lets get you all medicated so we can get dedicated”

Once again it’s a Katy song,but I hope you enjoy it anyways.

 

**Rachael Rae

Day 20: Life Lessons

Life has some lessons and I'm quickly learning them. Here's a few...

Words are sometimes empty

Life is full of heartache...you just have to learn from it and move on

All the cute ones are gay or married

Music is the best medicine, along with chocolate

Everyone needs a good cry every now and then

Affection can be freely given, trust has to be earned

Ok, so I know there are probably a lot of questions about why I'm posting this. I'm fine, I really am. I just need to empty my head out a bit, and this is what is playing tonight.

I’ve found new inspiration tonight and must start writing. Stupid books’ been put on hold for the last few days as I’ve caught up on all my homework.

**Rachael Rae

Day 19: I HATE Logan City!!!

As we waited, we watched another boot man come and boot a car that had been there for less than five minutes. The kid had parked to walk his girlfriend to her apartment. He walked out of the apartment as the boot guy was cuffing the front tire. He freaked out (just like me, but if that had been my situation, I would have freaked out even more!!)The guy just shrugged and said "Tough Luck dude" as he drove away. I was livid. I mean, the guy had been right there and didn't take care of my car. We called again and were told he was on his way! It took him thirty minutes to get there. By that time I was beyond pissed. I was sick of waiting and called the place once again to complain about their craptastic customer service. As I was explaining to the man, he hung up on me!!!

When the guy finally got there to take the boot off I ready to cry. I handed him my credit card and asked if there was anything I could do to lessen the fine. His response was that there were signs on the entrance (oh yeah cuz how many people read signs now days??) and that all the residents knew (Kait didn't so that's a lie). I paid the fee and got out of there, angry and wanting to cry.

So the moral of the story, Logan City you suck. Don't you understand that most of the city’s population is unemployed, tight walleted college students?? You should really think about lowering your costs so that it doesn't have to come between car or food for some individuals (thankfully that isn't me, but I'm sure there are some students out there that would run into that dilemma). Oh and if you say there is a website for the company to try to dispute the thing, make sure there really is one!!

I'm frustrated and tired so goodnight all...

**Rachael Rae

Day 18: Many Thoughts in My Head Tonight

Hello Friends!!

There are many thoughts in my head tonight, but I will not bore you with all of them...but maybe one just one or two. I am a grown-up which means that major life changes are very close upon me. I no longer need to be afraid to try things. I need to take life and jump in feet first and live instead of watching from the sidelines. As decisions and choices come I need to have the courage to take them head on!! I realized that life's rules don't apply to everyone and sometimes you have to make up your own set to make it through things. Most of all, I need to trust my heart because it knows what it needs!!

One last thought for the day "Smile, let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday!" Unknown.

Now if I can just stay up long enough to register for classes at midnight....

**Rachael Rae

Day 17: Make It Quotable

Everyone has favorite quotes.Some are inspirational while others are just plain fun. Here’s a few of my favorites!!

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” –Eleanor Roosevelt.

“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.”- Katharine Hepburn.

“I think everyone involved in any art secretly wonders if they are there because they’re good or because they’re lucky.”- Katharine Hepburn.

“Everyone told me I couldn’t so I tried until I could.”- Unknown.

“He was like What? And she was like Yeah!? and I was like huh?”- some stranger on campus

And for some film ones! (Since we all know how much I love movies!!)

I won’t tell you what they’re from. See if you can guess.

“My heart is and always will be yours!”

“You jump, I jump, right?”

“Kitty!”

“Can we have him for supper?”

“I just can’t handle complicated right now.”

I have like a million more but I’m always looking for new ones. If you have any that are really good, send them my way!!

**Rachael Rae

Day 16: Did You Know??

It’s not uncommon for the news now days to include stories of changing technologies. Things are constantly changing, and even I (the tech dependent I am becoming…I’ll explain in a minute) don’t know what half the new things are. We are becoming so reliant on our technology that we often become tech dependent. Yes that’s the second time I’ve used the phrase so what do I mean by that?? Basically I can’t leave technology alone. How many of us can’t leave home without our cell phones, IPods, and computers?? I know I can’t. If even one of these precious tools gets left behind I feel naked.

It’s not just technology that is changing though. It’s everything we know. Yesterday in my Anthropology class my professor showed us a video called “Shift Happens”. Watch it!! Everything is true. It was made in 2007 and some of the facts are even outdated now. Enjoy it and remember change makes us better, if we don’t understand it.

**Rachael Rae

Day 15: Half Way There!!!

Hey peeps!! It’s November 15th!! That means we are halfway through November already. I hope all my friends participating in NaNoWrMo are close to the halfway mark of 25,000 words or are past it! As for my little project, I’m proud to say that I have successfully posted everyday (but then again, you already know that!)

The funniest thing happened today as I walked across campus. I was walking along, minding my own business when I heard someone talking. There was only one other person near me, so I looked up to see if he was talking to me. Walking straight toward me was the funniest sight I’ve seen. A big black guy (like maybe 250lbs or so), had a pair of big DJ headphones on and was singing and dancing as he walked across the quad. I watched him for a second, smiling to myself. It was comical, but I stopped laughing as I realized something. He was enjoying life! He was happy! Why should I laugh at someone’s happiness. And then I realized something. Laughter is one of the greatest medicines on this planet!! Such being said, have you laughed today??

**Rachael Rae

Day 14: This WILL be short

Hey guys! It’s been a great day! I've been so inspired (thank you Ferras!), that I began to type my novel and have made so many changes. It never fails to amaze me how things can change so easily from when I originally write them. Let's just hope the changes are for the better, though I feel they are! I feel so blessed to have this talent with words (well I think it's a talent. Maybe I'm just full of myself and my writing isn't any good. Is it bad?? Don’t answer that! haha). Maybe one day I'll be able to change the world with my words. I sure hope so! I know this is short, but inspiration is still flowing and I'm not about to shut the faucet off anytime soon. Time to turn back to my work.

**Rachael Rae

Day 13: I All Growed Up!!

So today I had a great little realization. I'm no longer a kid. Yeah, granted I'm 18 and that still kind of categorizes me as a teenager, but I'm really not. I no longer have someone telling me to go to class every day. It’s a choice I have to make and if I don't go, there is no one to bail me out of the trouble my absence might cause. I don't have anyone telling me to eat my vegetables or making sure I eat right. I do my own grocery shopping now and have the option to buy whatever I want. If I really wanted (or was really out of my mind) I could spend my grocery money on cookies and ice cream. I don't have anyone telling me what to do anymore. I get to make my own decisions about life, including what I want to do with the rest of it (hence why I'm in college). I think that one is kinda funny for me. Growing up it was always anticipated that I would go to college. I’ve always been bright (not to wave my own flag) and have loved school since kindergarten, but my parents didn't ever say "If you don't go to college blank will happen". I knew I would have no future if I didn't get my education, but no one had a school they expected me to go to or a demand that I went.

The big one that really hit me is that I'm old enough to be married. I have several friends who are either my age or a year older who are married. My own mother was married at my age. If I wanted to (and I had a man), I could get married and no one could stop me because I'm an adult. (Don't worry. I'm not getting married anytime soon.) That is such a scary thought for me. I think of myself now, and all the things I want to do in my life, and I'm really just beginning.

So what brought on all this deep thinking today?? I was at Walmart, grocery shopping. I swear Saturday must be couples day there, because the whole store was filled with couples. The scariest fact is that most of them were college students (all sporting their Aggie Blue) and many of the girls didn't look much older than me. Some of them even had very young babies with them. Then as I was leaving the greeter called me "miss". I've been places on my own before, but it wasn't until I moved to Logan that I realized everyone seems to call me miss. It's kind of strange and I always wonder "am I grown up enough to be a miss??" I must be since everyone keeps calling me it. The only downside to this is that I want to wear skirts and heels everyday and it's FREEZING!!! Oh well, what's a cold girl to do?? Maybe I need to just grow up and buck up about the cold. After all fashion before comfort....

I guess the point of this is to tell myself I really am all growed up.

**Rachael Rae

Day 12: Dear Men....

Dear Men,
Why are you so lame sometimes?? Why must you sit on the bus with your headphones in and the music so loud that I can hear it from two seats over?? Do you not want girls to talk to you?? Why do you not ask us lovely ladies out on dates?? I mean, I promise we shower and brush our teeth. It's a safe bet to say we even smell better than you. So why do you not talk to us??

Are you afraid of us?? We've had our shots, and our fangs are filed down to a safe point. Please stop being so lame.

Oh and boy on the bus that totally scuzed me off when I tried to talk to him, I hope karma bites you in the butt!!

Thanks,
Rachael

Good night all!!
**Rachael Rae

It's Official!!

So it's official...I'm a gym rat!! haha. I LOVE going to the gym. I guess I shouldn't call it a gym since it only has bikes, an elliptical, and a treadmill, but it's a gym for me. I go every day. It's become part of my routine. Get up, go to class, go to the gym, come home and do homework (such a fun life, I know...) but it's my life. There is something about the gym that relaxes me. I've noticed that if I go to the gym before doing homework I am more able to focus (if I don't get on facebook first). So here's to the gym rats of the world!! Bikini season, bring it on!!

**Rachael Rae

Day 10: My 5 People

I think everyone has a list of five people, dead or alive, they would like to meet. I mean if a genie came to them and said "You don't get three wishes, but you can have any 5 people..." we would know exactly who we would ask for. For me it isn't enough to just meet them. I mean to just shake their hand and say hi…LAME! I want to do things with them, talk to them, find out who they are compared to their press persona. So here are my 5 people.

5. Eleanor Roosevelt: I would love to have lunch with this woman!! I think she is so amazing. She put up with so much crap from others and always came out ahead. She also spoke one of my favorite quotes "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent".

4. Amelia Earheart: I'd love to take flying lessons with her...and ask where the heck she went!!!

3. J.K Rowling: I think it would amazing to share some of my writing with her and have her give me some advice and critique for it. I mean, she is one of my favorite authors!!

2. Katy Perry: For an afternoon with Katy Perry I think it would be freaking amazing to write a song with her. My lyrics with her vocals and guitar skills...coolest experience EVER!!

And my number 1????
Leonardo DiCaprio: He is one heck of a hottie that I just want to go on a date with.....:p

That's my top five. Who's yours??

**Rachael Rae

Day 9: I'm too tired to come up with a catchy title today

I need some sleep. I thought fall day light savings time was supposed to be the good one. I mean gaining is good (unless it's pounds and that's bad!!) So why am I so tired. I was in bed and asleep by 12:30 last night and was up at 8:30 so I know I haven't over slept. I'm getting enough sleep, so why am I struggling to keep my eyes open?? It's only 5:40 or so yet it feels like 10. I really should just go to bed and sleep until tomorrow because I know I probably could, but my brain won't rest until I've wrote a little bit (oh yeah I started the book over...lucky me). So this is short and sweet. I need some sleep.

**Rachael Rae

Day 8: Snow Day

Unless you are fortunate enough to live in one of the warmer parts of the world (or just not Utah), we got snow...No I am not cheering, or singing, or dancing in the falling flakes. Snow is the devil. It can die in a hole along with spiders and mosquitoes for all I care. There is nothing wonderful about it and I am more into counting down until it goes away instead of when it will come.

I'M FREEZING!!! Everything is wet, and all I want to do is stay home and lay on my bed like a bum. I feel like I'm a hostage to the cold. It has me hiding in my apartment. I don't even want to go to the gym because it's cold. I’ve decided I went to the wrong school. I should have signed up for Dixie and hung out at the warm school for a little while. It seems that Dixie the only school I could have gone to in Utah that would have allowed me to escape the snow.

The days of summer and fall are officially gone. If you can enjoy this weather, go for it. If not, you can join me in hiding until the sun shines again!!

See you tomorrow
**Rachael Rae

Some Day's....

Hey Peeps!! It's Sunday night and what am I doing?? Sitting at home falling in love with the soulful voice of Ferras. He has a song called "Rush" (I mentioned it yesterday) that I can't stop listening to. Not only do I love his voice, but I'm hoping for some inspiration.

Brick walls have built themselves around my pen and the lines of my notebook. I've been working on a new novel for the last week and things seemed to be going pretty well, but yesterday when I tried to sit down with it, I had nothing. Not a thought, not a voice, absolutely NOTHING!! Now I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but for a writer, writers block is like the black plague. It's not that I don't know what to write, because I have a million ideas and scenes beating against my brain, it’s that I don't know how to get from point A to point B. It needs to be interesting and sound fun, but I’m drawing a blank at what to put in between the big moments....

I'm just frustrated. Being a writer really sucks some days. I want to write so badly. My brain is going to explode if I don't write soon, but I can't just write scenes because I have a feeling I wouldn't use them again if I just write them and I REALLY like them... :( What's a writer to do?? I guess it would help if I actually sat down and wrote instead of blogging. So good night all!!

See You Tomorrow
**Rachael Rae

Day 6: Can't Live With Them-Can't Live Without Them

Why are boys so complicated?? Is there something in their heads that makes them think "Oh playing mind games and messing with her head sounds fun??" I swear, sometimes I wonder if their brains are even connected at times.

So as you can tell, I'm letting off some steam. Here's what happened...A few days ago, a friend that I have known since I was like 8 years old text me. We talk occasionally and went on a date over the summer. While texting each other, he asked me when I was going to be back in Syracuse and asked me if I'd like to go out. I said yes, but he never responded. I text him a few days later to ask about the plans and never heard from him. Not even sure if we were still going out because I hadn’t heard from him, I got a text today saying that something had come up. I responded and we exchanged questions and he told me we would have to try again some other time.

It's not a big deal to me that we didn't go out. I'd just as well stay home and write, but why the games?? I'm hearing this is happen a lot. I have a friend who had a guy tell her he liked her and wanted to see what could happen between them, but he still has a girlfriend. Another friend had a guy cancel plans to go to the temple because he wanted to go to an aggie basketball game (I get they're good, but canceling pre-made plans??). Why do guys play games, mess with our heads and hearts, and think that they can get away with it??

I found a new song. "Rush" by Ferras featuring Katy Perry (it's on youtube if you're interested). It's a love song. What I want to know, is how is it possible to have a relationship and feel so crazy about someone, if boys are playing games and can't make up their minds?? Does anyone have the answer??

See You Tomorrow
**Rachael Rae

Day 5: Happy Birthday Mom!!

Today is my mom's birthday and what does she get?? A daughter!! That's right peeps, I drove home to see my mom. I think I'm actually getting to the point that I enjoy the drive from Logan. It's kinda relaxing...

I’ve had a brilliant idea. So at USU there is a very long sidewalk that runs in front of the biology and ag science building. The other day I was walking home from class, listening to my ipod in. As I walked down that very sidewalk, I wondered: what if there was a big dance party on this sidewalk one day? Take any given Wednesday (since Wednesday's are kinda lame), have someone set some speakers up and find a great mix of music from someone's ipod and just start dancing. As I've been informed lately things in college don't have to have a point. It can just be fun. So I need to figure out how to make this happen. I really want to dance!!!

See you tomorrow
**Rachael Rae

Day 4: GRRRR

Dear Stomach illness/virus/nastiness,

I hate you. Please take your germy, life-sucking paws off me. I need to eat actual food!!! Oh and can you tell your cousin Mr. Allergies to back off too. I'd like to be able to hear eventually.

Thanks,
Rachael Rae

Day 3: The Music of My Life

Have you ever listened to a song that just made you smile, laugh, or maybe even cry?? Since I started college music has integrated itself into part of me. I have always loved music, but now it seems I can't go a minute without music (unless of course I’m asleep). I've found websites like Playlist and Grooveshark where I can build a playlist and listen for hours.

There seems to be certain songs that I listen to over and over. For some reason I'm drawn to them. It's like they express a part of my soul in ways that I don't have the words to do. So here it is: Rachael's Playlist (with brief descriptions)!!

Rachael's Top 10 Favorite Songs of the Moment
10. Open Your Eyes--Snow Patrol: I first heard this song in ER in the Episode "21 Guns". I can't really explain what exactly about I like about it, but I know that I can’t stop listening to it.

9. Secret--The Veronicas: I found this song on accident while listening to some of their other stuff and it made me laugh. I'm sure we all have someone we can relate to this song.

8. Club Can't Handle Me--Flo Rida ft. David Guetta: Everyone needs a good dance party song.

7. Now or Never--Vitamin String Quartet: I admit, I'm not one for instrumentals. I need something I can sing to, but this song has worked its way into my heart. It's perfect writing music. I found this group on accident last Saturday night and I can't stop listening to them.

6. A Year Without Rain--Selena Gomez: I admit, I'm not one for Disney pop stars. I won't listen to Miley Cyrus and Demi Lovato drives me crazy, yet this song is AMAZING!!

5. Pearl--Katy Perry. I know, I know. Katy Perry, but I've been sucked in. I can't stop listening to her songs, especially her new CD "Teenage Dream". This song in particular has become a favorite. Every girl needs an empowerment song and this is it for me.

4. Missing--Flyleaf. I won't listen to anything else by Flyleaf since they kind of fit into the screamo category of music, something I won’t' do. This song though...it just...I don't even know, but I'm addicted.

3. Dare You to Move--Vitamin String Quartet: I love the original Switchfoot version of this, but this is so different. I can't listen to it without getting the chills.

2. Your Heart is an Empty Room--Death Cab for Cutie: This is another band I don't usually listen too, but doesn't everyone want someone to know them better than they even know themselves.

Drum Roll Please....My number one song of the moment...
Firework--Katy Perry: Yes I know, roll your eyes, but I can't stop listening to this song!! There is something about it. Maybe I'm a sucker for feel good songs, but oh well. Everyone needs to know they are special. So in case you haven't heard it (which if you haven't have you been living under a rock??) I'm including the video beneath. Happy watching.

See you all tomorrow
**Rachael Rae

Day 2: I wasn't prepared for this....

I knew college was going to be challenging. I expected it. Several exams on one day (check), lots of info to cover in one day (check), LOTS of reading (it's a given being an English major), and all night study sessions (not checked yet...), but I wasn't prepared for the other aspects of college.

Students packing around bright yellow nerf guns and balled up socks looking for the "zombies" and hoping to escape the deadly "zombie" touch, tractors placed precariously around campus with protruding spikes just begging for someone to run into them, pigs and cows being fenced in front of the TSC for a petting zoo, and my all time favorite pony rides. I know college is supposed to be fun, but did I end up at the wrong school?? I thought I was going to college not the farm??

Haha!! I really am enjoying my college experience. I have great roommates, awesome classes (well some of them anyway...), and a new sense of independence. College is great!! I just didn't think I would be taking classes among the zombie hunters. Maybe I should buy a gun and play too??

Oh and for clarification I am not doing NaNoWrMo, but I am currently working on a book. The difference: I'm not rushing to finish it before December 1st, but I do plan to write in every available moment now. Just thought I would clarify since I've been asked about it.

See you tomorrow
**Rachael Rae

30 Posts in 30 Days--It'll be an Adventure....

Hello friends!! Happy NaNoWrMo to you all!!! NaNo WHAT?? Yes, I know your eyebrows are knit together in confusion. November is the official National Novel Writing Month, or as those in the writers world may call it "writing and mental suicide". Basically what happens is writers all over the world use the month of November to try to compose a 50,000 (yep fifty thousand) word novel. The novel cannot be started until after midnight of November 1st and must be done before 11:59 on November 30th.

So I know many of you may be asking "Well Rachael, why are you spending time blogging, if you're taking on such a monumental task?" Well truth is, friends, I'm not. Yep that's right; I'm turning away from the challenge of a lifetime. Well, at least for now. It's not that I wouldn't love to try, honestly I'm kinda upset with myself that I'm not, but as a college freshman in my first semester, I feel like I would be undercutting myself and wasting the huge amount of money I am spending on my education. I know there are many out there who are rolling their eyes and saying "I'm a student and I'm doing it" which I applaud them for, but for me and in my writing style, it just isn’t possible right now. Let me take a second to explain my writing style.

When I start a new book, it's all I think about, day and night, I even sometimes dream about my characters. I talk to them in my head (I hear this is normal of writers, but then again have I ever been normal??) and think "If (insert character name here) was doing this, what would they say?" It's crazy. I can't stop thinking about it until I'm finished and even think about it long after I have left the characters on the page. When I'm in the middle of a project, it consumes my mind leaving little room for anything else.

With that said, I wasn't ready for the challenge of writing a book, going to class, studying for exams and fitting sleep in there somehow all in a month. Plus, I kinda started something Saturday night and I'm in no hurry to end it....just sayin'. So, not wanting to feel disconnected from the writing world, I came up with a little idea I like to call "30 posts in 30 days". It's my version of NaNoWrMo. Every day from now to December 1st I will have a new post. Some will be things about me and others will be whatever comes out of my head. I must warn you though, Molly and Zachary might show up every now and then (that's their names!!). So let the adventure begin!!!

See you tomorrow--
Rachael Rae

I Don't Want to Grow Up

$7 REALLY??? I know being an adult is about paying for things and meeting the world of bills and expenses and such, but $7 dollars just to do a few loads of laundry, and that doesn’t include the detergent which is expensive in its own right. I know some of the “moms” and my fellow college students are rolling their eyes right now and saying “welcome to the real world”. I’m all for being an adult and I enjoy the freedoms and accept the responsibilities of it, but why does life have to be so expensive?? I can fill my gas tank, drive home, see my family, eat food that doesn’t come out of the microwave or a cardboard box, and do my laundry for around $15. Is it really worth the convince of doing it at my apartment??

Maybe today is just a bad day…yep we’re going to go with that. Not only did it get extremely cold and the icky disgusting white stuff fell from the heavens (not a heavenly gift I’m thankful for), but I took a lovely slide down the stairs of the large auditorium in front of several of my (cute male) classmates. So now I have bruised and skinned shins, a sore ankle, and bruised palms. To make the whole experience better a very good looking guy that happens to be in the class with me laughed as I slid. Lovely, just lovely…but on a good note Daisy started without a problem when I went to find McDonalds. Any of you that have experienced Daisy know what a great feat that this!!!

More later…

**Rachael

Hello!!!

Hello! My name is Rachael (but if you're reading this, you should already know that). This little project is something that I have wanted to do for a long time. Now I know what some of you may be thinking, what does an 18 year old girl have to say? I admit, I myself have asked that question several times, hence why I haven't started a blog until now. But honesty, I think I have lot to say. I am an aspiring writer and I'm realizing the best way for me to be heard and express what I think, feel, and need is to write it down. So hopefully this won't bore you all to tears, and if it does, I'm sorry. I'll buy you some Kleenex.
So since this is my first post, I'm going to experiment with some things. I honestly don't know who, if anyone will even read this, but if all else, this is for me. So topic number 1!
Lately in the media there has been a lot of attention put on bullying. With the recent suicides of teens across the country who were victims of bullying, a new bullying policy being implemented in the schools (and it’s about time!), and the exasperated protesting against these policies, it is impossible to ignore this growing epidemic. Yes I said EPIDEMIC because I feel that’s exactly what this is! I was bullied in junior high and high school, I have talked with and know others who have been bullied and I've seen it happen to my siblings. The question I pose is WHY??? Why do others feel they have to tear someone down?? Does it really give them that big of a rush?? Is it like a drug?? If so, I can think of a thousand other things that could give them a natural high, that doesn't involve hurting others. Is it a power struggle? Do bullies really feel that out of control?? I guess what I'm saying, is why does all of this happen? Why do those who work hard, have goals, and are responsible get picked on? Also why do some parents refuse to take responsibility for their children who are hurting others?? Honestly, it really reflects bad on you as parent when you don't step in and take responsibility for your kid and teach them responsibility as well. Didn't Jesus say "Love everyone"?? Last I checked that was one of the 10 commandments as well as a simplified version of the golden rule. I know I'm young and don't understand everything, but this is one thing I really wish I could understand.
Okay, so that was a rant and now I feel better!! On a happier note, I passed all my midterms and there is only 7 more weeks left of the semester!!! I am alive, mostly happy, and not frozen yet, though that last one might change in the next few weeks.
Thanks for reading, I know it was long :(, but like I said, I have a lot to say!