Everything's Changing

Things never go the way you think they will. Life's funny like that. I'm pretty OCD and a major planner, so obviously I had tons of plans for this summer and the way I wanted my life to be. But apparently I'm not immune to curveballs (though I wish I was.) You see, a lot has changed in the last 24 hours. I know the decisions I made are for the best, but it seems like everything exploded all at the same time.

The first major decision came at work yesterday. I've worked at the bowling ally for the last 3 and a half years and there has been a lot of ups and downs. Ownership and management has changed a couple of times and people have come and gone. Through it all, I stayed simply for the fact that it was a job. Some days were better than others and I was grateful that they agreed to work around my college school schedule and allowed me to work weekends. 

This summer though, going back was rough. There was a lot of stuff going on including stupid high school-esqe games. Some people got away with things that should never have been allowed, without punishment, like not showing up for shifts and texting in front of customers (there is supposedly a no cell phone policy.) While some were allowed to shove their duties onto others, people like me and a few of my other hard-working co-workers were required to pick up the slack. No one ever asked if we would, it was just expected that we would. With the games going on in the place, my stress-level was sky high. Yesterday, I hit my snapping point. I am so over the games and when I was told that I needed to stay later than my already 7 hour long shift because someone wouldn't be in until around 7 pm (shift changes are at 4) I lost it. I went straight to the bosses and turned in my 2 weeks. 

The minute I made up my mind, I felt so relieved. I don't have to play the games or lie through my teeth anymore. I got out and have so many other big things happening for me because of school. Basically I have all of August to be a kid and hang out with friends. My last month of summer vacation isn't going to be ruled by a crappy job. 

The 2nd major decision was not as easy to make. You see, this one involved my heart and it hurt a lot.

I met one of the nicest, sweetest guys at the first of May. He came into work one night and we exchanged numbers. One date turned into two and within weeks we were a couple. He was really sweet and being with him made me happy. But the longer I thought about the relationship, it just didn't seem right. I didn't see a future for us, and felt the best thing to do for everyone involved was to end it. Unfortunately, it ended last night.

It was not an easy decision by any means. The thought of ending it tore me up inside, but I knew it was something I had to do.

So now where do I go? I start school in 6 weeks and know there will be a lot to do there. I'm pretty sure I picked some hard classes that will require more work than I've had to do before. So there's that to look forward to. I'm going to try to complete Camp Nano (it's like the writing competition I do in November, only in August.) And of course I have good friends who keep my laughing, even when I don't feel like it. 

The biggest change for me is that I've decided I want to go back to church. Don't ask why, but I do. Maybe I need to start trusting God more. He clearly knows what's going on even when I don't.

So yeah, I'm making a lot of decisions right now, but I know they are all for the best. I'm going to take some time, let my heart heal, figure out exactly what I want, and try to make a road map of how to get it. I do know one thing, I'm headed in the right direction. 

**Rachael 

Inspired and Happy

It should come as no surprise that I'm a katycat. I went to the California Dreams concert last July and have followed Katy for the last two years. It's kind of hard to explain why I like Katy so much, but she really inspires me to just be me. Sure she has some songs that are fun and kind of stupid, but then she also has lyrics that I, as a normal human person, can relate to.

Anyway, being the fan I am, I signed up to be a Paramount Katy Captain for the release of Katy's new movie "Katy Perry Part of Me." At first I wasn't sure if I wanted to sign up, but then I realized I was being stupid and just did it. 2 captains were chosen from each state and the Canadian Providences. I was chosen as one of the Captains for Utah (and possibly the only one, since no one seemed to know who the other was) and the adventure began.

I was given a hoodie, some awesome iron on patches for said sweatshirt and the best prize of all: A chance to see the fan-sneak preview of the movie for FREE tonight. Of course I had to drive all the way to Sandy, but it was totally worth it. I brought momma along and we ventured down to see the movie. When we got there, we had to wait off to the side for the rep to come with my tickets, since I was on the VIP list. We got our tickets and the rep gave me a official movie poster, even though only the contest winners were supposed to get them. Everyone else got this way big cartoon-ish Katy one (I picked up one too, but I really wanted the official poster). Being the studio rep, I was also given a T-shirt that was supposed to only go to contest winners. I felt so flippin' special. Momma and I get into the theater and start looking for our seats. Come to find out, we had a whole row to ourselves that was specially taped off. It was great. Front and center-seriously some of the best seats in the place. My inner fan-girl didn't go too berserk, but I def had a massive smile on my face for most of the film, except for the really sad parts.

Obviously being me, I'd seen/read/watched a lot of things about the movie, but nothing could have prepared me for what the hour and a half film contained. I laughed, I cried, but most of all I felt inspired. It's not really a secret that some really sucky things happened in Katy's life last year, but she never let it stop her from being her. There were times that she was exhausted and falling apart, but she still slapped a smile on her face and carried on with the show so she didn't disappoint her fans-the ones who she is more than aware put her in her position. Seeing her able to overcome the bad things and still come out on top (she tied a record only Michael Jackson holds) gives me so much strength to push through the hard things.

A lot of people say "oh she's a celebrity. It's what she gets for putting herself in the spotlight," but I think it's 10x worse for those who put their live's out there for everyone to scrutinize. I saw this thing on tumblr the other day with a bunch of the current pop stars photos and it said "you don't have to like them, but you have to respect them" and I feel that it's a very true statement. Celebrities are real people too, they have feelings, and bad days and obstacles just like the rest of us. Seeing someone, especially someone I really admire and look up to, go through them and still come out smiling is really inspiring.

If Katy can do it while the whole world is watching, I can make the tough decisions and choices I need to. I too can be a FIREWORK and inspire others. Maybe it will be through writing, maybe it will just be through being me. I don't know. I just know that there's a reason (well many) that Katy Perry and her music make me happy.

I recommend it to anyone, even if you're not a Katy fan. I'm almost positive that you'll come out with a "can do" type of attitude.

Katy Perry Part of Me hits theaters July 5th.

**Rachael